If you want to be a musician, an author, movie script writer or if you dream of your paintings being displayed in the Metropolitan Museum of Art, then here are ten sure-fire ways to get you there. Follow in the footsteps of the most successful ones that came before you.
If you are an Enneagram type Four (the sensitive, withdrawn, expressive, dramatic, self-absorbed & depressive type), then this sould all come easy to you.
But hey, none of this stuff is really that hard to do.
Number One: Obviously, have a talent for whatever your artistic career choice.
Number Two: Have a troubled childhood. An alcoholic mother, a distant father, an older brother who compulsively steals are all good starts for your work.
Number Three: Have a mental illness, depression, bipolar, personality disorders & etc. all feed your artistic skill. If you do not have a mental illness then develop a drug addiction that causes horrendous mood swing. Or better yet, if you do have a mental illness develop a drug addiction anyway. It’s a double-whammie.
Number Four: Commit some sort of crime. Whether it be a misdemeanor or a felony, you can express this troubled time of your life in your work. And, you will get publicity when this chunk of you life is later unearthed when you are famous. Or commit a crime after you have become famous.
Number Five: Complain about everything. How the world is always getting you down, how your girlfriend is a cheating slut, that your boss is underpaying you. Take it out in your artistic ventures.
Number Six: Strike up a friendship with other disturbed artists, listen to music like Pink Floyd & Nirvana & complain to your kindred spirit of your troubles. Then, go get plastered.
Number Seven: When you get your big break, remember to smile & act as if you are ontop of the world, then go home & drink, smoke whatever, rock back & forth in the fetal postition, beat out your car windows with a baseball bat.
Number Eight: Why I do not suggest actually dying, at least almost die when your fame is at its peak.
Number Nine: Become a hermit. Do not socialize with anyone that you do not have to. Become bitter & tired & angry at the world that has caused you so much grief. By this point, you will probably wish you would have become a chef, a florist, an office manager, or even a car salesman.
Number Ten: Have multiple divorces, fight with your spouse of child custody. Try to convince him\her that you have no idea where that ‘mystery’ STD came from, or that you’ve never met that person who was sending you naughty texts on your phone.
I hope these ten tips give you some insight on the typical career of the disturbed artist. It seems that the disturbed ones always have the best stuff. Hmmmm.
Oh wait! I forgot about blowing all your big money & going into debt. Oh well, that’s optional I suppose.
I would make a top ten tips list for politicians but you know what those would be. Have a charming smile, become respected, sell out your values for payout from big corporations, have some gay & or straight affairs, get sacked for some ethical violations & etc.
I hope you found my advice helpful.